A Million Brilliant Shadows

Embracing New (Part II)

Posted on: 29 August 2009

A few weeks ago, my response to  Sunday Scribblings centered around my having to get used to putting my daughter in daycare.  I wasn’t comfortable with the idea then, and I’m not quite sure I’m comfortable with it even now.  But, now I have to get used to it.  She’s going to be starting daycare on Monday.  This past week, I had the afternoons off, which I was happy about because it gave more time with her with less outside distractions.  I was really hoping the week would go slow because I wasn’t ready for what was ahead.  Guess what?  The week flew by.

I’m still not ready for this.  I know she will be in good hands (the daycare is connected to a local Christian school and comes highly, highly recommended), but I still worry about someone else taking care of her.  It’s going to take them a while to get to know her like I know her.  It’s going to take them a while to figure out what her different noises and expressions mean.  I don’t think she’s going to have any problems adjusting to her new situation.  I am.  It’s going to be very hard going from having her with me basically twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week  for the last five and half months to leaving her with someone for eight hours a day. I know I can do it, but it’s going to take work.  I’ve been lucky to be able to have with with me as long as I have because I don’t think I could have made it had I had to put her into daycare when she was six weeks old.

I’m not ready for this.  I’m not at all.  But come Monday morning, I’ll be dropping her off for her first day of daycare.  Wish me luck. I’m definitely going to need it to make it through the morning without any tears.

{Edit 9/1/09 – I forgot to link to the Sunday Scribblings response I refer to in the first sentence.  It’s done now.}


2 Responses to "Embracing New (Part II)"

the hardest thing is life is raising children. I did not read your first post about day care (couldn’t locate it) but I’m sure it explained why the day care. Old grizz is 70 now and has made a lot of mistakes in his life. Of all the things my wife and I look back on and wish we could have or would have done different raising our children is top on our list. I do not judge because we wall have our reasons. If we had it to do over, we would not choose day care, we would spend more time camping, picnicking etc. We world not put them in little league or pop warner football, or soccer. we would stress education more.
In fact we would home school them. They did not turn out bad but we did have some drug problems. We woke up one morning to find someone else was raising our kids….other kids. we had to make drastic changes and luckily things turned out good.
Just my thoughts. One more thing. maybe you will spend 1 or 2 quality hours with your child each day. They will be with someone else 8 hrs a day. In the morning your rushed to get them and you ready for the day. At night you are to tired to do much but fix dinner.
then everyone sits and watches TV while they eat. Not much quality time there. I know, I’ve been there.

I know exactly what you’re talking about. It’s basically the story of my childhood, except for the little league, football, or soccer. My parents didn’t care to do anything of that.

I wanted things to be different for my daughter and in some ways they are. But it’s also very easy to lapse into the things from my childhood that I said would never happen when I was a parent. On my work days, I’m lucky to get five hours with her when she’s awake. I’d rather spend that time reading and playing with her even if it means letting the laundry sit, unfolded and wrinkling on the couch. Who cares if everything on my to-do list doesn’t get done as long as my daughter is happy?

I know I’m still going to look back one day and pin-point all the things I could have and would have done differently, but I hope it’s with little things that ultimately don’t matter much.

Thank you for your thoughts. I really appreciate them. Thank you for also pointing out that I didn’t link the first post about daycare. I got that linked and noticed that you did read it (and commented on it).

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101 Goals in 1001 Days

Start date: 19 July 2009
End date: 15 April 2012

Total goals: 85
Goals to be determined: 16
Goals completed: 4
Goals in progress: 10

You can find my full list here.

**My goal project is on hold until September so I can figure some things out**


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